Did You Really Hear What Was Said?

Verse of the Day: Proverbs 18:13 He who answers a matter before he hears it, It is folly and shame to him.

One of the things that fuel an argument is a person’s refusal to really listen to what the other is trying to communicate. So often, one party wants to express their point of view, while the other is interrupting to express theirs. The end result is that a situation that can be easily resolved by talking escalates to a heated argument that could potentially end up in a physical altercation. Sadly, many arguments, and fights, could be avoided, if people would just listen to, and respond wisely, when communicating with each other. This is especially true with husbands and wives. We, as born again believers, should be people who are seen as wise, and people who calmly listen to other with a sympathetic, and kind ear. One culprit that usually adds fuel to the fire in verbal conflicts is pride. We begin in anger because of something that “hurt our feelings” or “offended” us, and refuse to listen to the other person’s reasoning for what may have been said. This is why it is important to approach others in humility, and practicing the art of being silent, if need be, when we become angry (Phil 2:3; Prov 15:18; 16:32; James 1:19). When we try to talk over the other person who is already speaking, or refuse to hear all that needs to be said, before answering, we essentially demonstrate a lack of wisdom and put ourselves in the position of being a fool. I have found that communicating with others, especially in resolving conflict, requires much patience, love, and wisdom. We need patience to be still, quiet, and truly listen; love, to give that person the benefit of the doubt, as the person may not have intended to offend us; and wisdom so that we can determine what the root of the misunderstanding was. It is quite possible that we are the one that was wrong, and this is where humility plays a great part in being able to admit that, apologize, and begin reconciliation, if necessary. Many conflicts have turned into something they need not be, such as broken relationships, or hurtful words being spoken (which will cut deep and potentially scar someone for life), because one person or both refused to allow the other to complete a thought or sentence before interrupting. All too often we hear just enough to respond with our reasoning or “wisdom” about the situation, which in reality turns out to be foolishness because we refused to hold our tongue long enough to truly hear what was being said and what the matter is truly about. Even worse than making this mistake with other brothers, sisters, or people in general, is when we do this with God. We must be careful to not just skim God’s Word, and haphazardly apply God’s truth to our lives, but we must patiently study it, in its context, so that we truly understand what God is saying to us, and so that we do not then communicate something to others that God did not say; for we will account for that in a big way, and an with eternal consequences (James 3:1). I have heard it said that God gave us two ears and one mouth, therefore we must be careful to listen twice as much as we speak. There is much wisdom in that. I have always admired those that can sit patiently and listen to others before giving an answer. The wisest thing that we can do in communicating with each other people is to patiently listen. Once the person is done speaking, rather than answer right away, there is nothing wrong with trying to absorb what has just been said. If we are offended by something said, then this would be the best time to ask, “I heard you say this, and this is what I understood it as. Did you mean it that way?” If what they said was not offensive to you, before you answer, there is nothing wrong with taking a moment to absorb what was said before we attempt to respond. If we respond calmly and thoughtfully, the conversation is likely to remain at a level that is respectful, and God-honoring. This is not to say that the other person will not be foolish in the way they respond or interact, but we, as God’s children, are to be mature enough to be the voice of reason. This is not an easy thing to do, and like any other godly principle, takes practice. We will make our mistakes because the devils will attempt to interfere, but that is where humility will give us the ultimate victory, especially if our humility is fashioned after the Lord, who did not revile when reviled and refused to answer the foolish, false, accusations against Him when false witnesses spoke against Him (Matt 26:62-63; 1 Peter 2:21-23). Let us be like our Lord in our communications with others. It will resolve many unnecessary conflicts, and will ultimately honor God when we demonstrate godly wisdom that can only come from having a true intimate relationship with Jesus our Lord and Savior.

God has communicated His love to us. Do we truly understand what He has said, and what are the implications of rejecting Jesus (John 3:18; Rom 6:23)? He gave us His only begotten Son so that we will not perish, but have eternal life (John 3:16-17). Let today be the day you respond to Him, calling upon Jesus, by faith, repenting, and confessing your sins (Rom 10:13).