Verse of the day: Ephesians 6:4 And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to
wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.
Today,
as we celebrate Father’s Day, let us remember the greatest Father to ever
exist, our Heavenly Father, who has provided for us eternal life in Jesus
Christ; takes cares of our every needs, and is the ultimate example of what a
father should be. The Apostle Paul, after addressing the marriage relationship,
in respect to submission, now deals with the parent child relationship, with
instructions to both the children and the fathers. In verses 1-2 he begins with
commanding the children to obey (submit to) and honor their parents. The
children are to honor both the father and the mother; a command that is
repeated over and over again in Scripture (Ex 20:12; Deut 5:16; Mt 15:4; Mk
7:10; 10:19). This is a command that has no “expiration date”, and is one with
promise. The promise is that obedience to this command will be followed by
blessings. However, the main motivation is not the blessings, but the obedience
to God’s will as it pertains to the relationship of a child and a parent. Jesus
submitted to the authority of his parents, and is the ultimate example (Lk
2:51). As there is great responsibility placed upon us as sons and daughters to
honor our parents, regardless of how old we get, there is also great
responsibility placed on us as parents in raising our children; and in this
case in particular, fathers. The Word of God is very clear that we are to teach
our children the ways of the Lord, and if we do this faithfully, regardless of
what path our children take, they will always come back to what they have been
taught about the Lord when they are older (Pr 22:6). Part of training up our
children involves their discipline. Sadly, too many fathers today are not
around for their children, and if they are, too many fail to discipline them as
they should. Society has made it taboo to discipline our children, and in many
cases has even made it illegal. Yet, the undisciplined child grows up to be
undisciplined in their living, and takes a path that is troublesome to society,
and inevitably the same society that frowns upon discipline turns around and
blames the parent for not properly raising the child. I will say this clearly…especially
for Christian parents; a refusal to discipline our children is disobedience to
the Word of God. Proverbs 13:24 tells us that if we spare discipline, we hate
our children. Proverbs 22:15 tells us that discipline drives out the foolishness
in the heart of a child. The Apostle Paul instructs fathers to not provoke his
children to wrath, or anger. What does that mean? It means that we, as fathers,
must be careful about how we discipline our children. We must avoid discipline
that is applied while we are angry. We must avoid placing unreasonable blame
and expectations, as well as avoid severe discipline that is unnecessary and
inappropriate for whatever circumstance we are dealing with. In Hebrews 12 we
are reminded that God disciplines us when we need it, but He does so in our
best interest because it produces holiness, and righteousness, in our lives. It
also tells us that as earthly fathers we discipline for selfish reasons. One of
the reasons that many children rebel against their parents, besides a lack of
discipline, is that many parents want their children to follow a bunch of rules
without making an attempt to have a relationship; “rules without relationship
equals rebellion”. Rather than immediately looking to discipline our children
for every little thing we think is wrong, we need to first step back and ask
ourselves if what they did was a mistake or an intentional act of disobedience.
Then, we must look for an opportunity to turn the situation into a teaching
moment using the Word of God. We must follow through in the discipline,
explaining why they are being disciplined, asking them to explain it back to us
so that we know they understand. Once that has happened, in my own approach, I
would always send them away to think on it, and later call them back to have
them explain it to me again. The session always ended with a reminder that I
love them and with a big hug and kiss. The greatest thing that we can do as
fathers is show our children how much we love them and our family by being the
example of what it means to live a godly life before God. They must see us
studying and applying the Word of God. They must see us pray and trust God for
the provision of the family, and they must see that our worship of God, and
relationship with Jesus, is the greatest priority in our lives. This is not to
say that we are not going to make mistakes as fathers. However, when we do, we
must teach them that we have a God who is gracious, forgiving, and loving, even
when we stumble, and when we come to Him in repentance and confession. We teach
this to them by also treating them that way when they stumble and make the
wrong choices that they will make in life. For this reason we never discipline
our children without ending it on a loving note. The greatest accomplishment we
can achieve as fathers is to lead our children to a true relationship with
Jesus Christ; and as we teach them, and they grow into adulthood, that we trust
them to continue in the faith, trusting the Lord to guide them and take care of
them. I would remind us as fathers that regardless of how old are children get,
we are still accountable for guiding them and holding them accountable for
ungodliness. Eli the priest was held accountable by God for the misbehavior of
his sons, even as adults. Let us strive to be the best, godly fathers, we can
be; for the benefit of our children, and for the glory of God!
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