Verse of the day: Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands,
as unto the Lord.
The first earthly relationship the Apostle deals
with regarding this command to submit is that of the husband and wife. Sadly,
in today’s society, quoting this verse is equivalent to using foul language in
front of a woman. Too many of God’s people have adapted the world’s view of
marriage when it comes to submission and it has not worked well for Christian
marriages. Women have bought into “women’s lib”, and sadly, usurped the
God-given authority of the husband in the home; only to find that after some
time the husband no longer has any interest in remaining in that marriage. By
the same token, many Christian men have contributed to this problem by becoming
tyrants in their families, causing their wives to have no desire to respect,
honor, or follow such a man. If we as Christian men and women really made an
honest effort to live out our roles as godly husbands and wives, living in
accordance to the boundaries God set for marriage (and keeping the Lord at the
center of our relationships), we would make greater efforts to keep our
families intact, and would be able to overcome whatever obstacle and challenges
we face as husbands and wives. The responsibility for the wife to submit to her
own husband is first grounded in the fact that it is a command from God. She is
to submit to her own husband, as unto the Lord. She is called to be his
helpmate, and is to make him the next most important person in her life, after
the Lord, and before their children. Yes, I said it…before the children. One of
the saddest things I have seen, and experienced, is Christian families where the
relationships are wrongly prioritized. In the beginning, when God created man
(Adam), the first relationship to exist was God and man (Gen 1:26). After this
relationship, then God created the relationship between the man and woman;
husband and wife (Gen 2:18, 21-25); God still remaining as the foundation. It
was only after these two relationships came into existence, that the
relationship between parents and children came onto the scene (Gen 4:1-2).
Today, this order of priority must still exist in order for us to have solid
Christian marriages. The Apostle makes it clear that as Christ is the head of
the church, so the husband is the head of the wife in the marriage relationship
(v. 23). This puts a great responsibility on both husband and wife. A church
that fails to keep Christ at the center of its worship and all it does, and
submit to His authority, eventually dies. Likewise, when the wife refuses to
submit and honor her husband, the marriage eventually dies. The husband who
fails to truly love His wife and make the sacrifices called for in order to be
the head of the family and lead his family in accordance to God’s will and
plan, will also cause that marriage to shipwreck. In verse 24, the Apostle
clearly states that wife must submit to their own husband in everything, not in
the things she may deem to be best because she refuses to follow him. Here is
where I want to speak to husbands. Men, if we truly want wives who will submit
to our God-given authority, then we must truly make a great effort to be godly
leaders. That means that the Lord must be the center of our lives. We must not
only desire to know His Word, but we must diligently read and study the
Scriptures, prayerfully make decisions, and treat our wives like the treasures
they are. The Word of God tells us that we are to honor our wives as the weaker
vessels (1 Pt 3:7). Note that he says “honor”. Many women are physically weaker
than men, but it does not mean that they are weaker in their intellect. They
may be weaker in respect to their emotions, but many are strong enough to
withstand great trials when they are walking with the Lord. They are our fellow
heirs in Christ, and we are not to put them down, humiliate them or abuse them.
We are not to be tyrants and force them to submit to us. We must treat them
like the valuable treasures that they are, handling them with great care as to
not shatter them. The Apostle Peter tells us that we are to live with them in
knowledge. In other words, we must make a real effort to know them; to know
what makes them tick. We must not hinder their relationship with the Lord and
keep them from worshiping the Lord. We must encourage them in their walk by
being the godly example that they can follow, as they walk with the Lord. We
must recognize their strengths in the marriage and be partners in the decisions
we make about our families. Even though we are called to have the final say in
matters of the family, we must not dismiss our wives’ opinions or expertise in
areas that we may be weak in. We must not use our God-given authority to try
and force our wives to do things that are immoral, or that violates God’s Word.
When a godly wife sees that her husband is making a genuine effort to lead his
family in the ways of God, she will be encouraged to submit to him, honor him,
and follow him. When the husband sees that his godly wife is genuinely
submitting to him and honoring him, he will do all he can to love her
sacrificially, as the Lord sacrificed Himself for the church. The bottom line
is that we both have a responsibility to submit; the wife to her husband, and the
husband to the Lord. If we truly want a wife who will submit to us as unto the
Lord, then we must be a husband who is willing to submit, in love and service
to his wife, submitting ourselves to the Lord Jesus, and treat her like she is the
most valuable treasure we have. Note: this is only the tip of the iceberg, as
marriage is a subject that cannot be covered in one devotional thought.
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